12 Step Program | Step 3 - What Does It Mean To Make A Decision?

12 step program

In Step 3 we are asked to make a decision to our will and our life over to the care of God (or our higher power) as we understand it (God or our higher power that is).  So there are 2 important parts to this step:


1. Make A Decision
2. As We Understand Him, God, our Higher Power ect.

I have heard all sorts of interesting shares on this step over the years.  My favorite was from a person new in recovery who had a gripping fear that if he worked this step diligently and gave his life over to the care of God that he would end up digging toilets in Africa.  He was serious and he was scared.  His sharing confused me (as I was new to recovery at that time) and thankfully for me I had enough courage to ask someone I considered a 'Winner' about this make a decision thing.

I was told, in a way that I understood, that making a decision doesn't mean anything unless immediately proceeded by some action; in the context of what we are talking about here that means the 4th step.  Since, I have heard this explained many different times in many different ways.  My favorite is still the 3 birds on the wire thing - one makes a decision to fly away - how many are left on the wire? 3, the bird only decided to fly away but did not take any action.

If we are hampered by a concept of a higher power that is punishing, or vindictive, or in some other way just is not comfortable to us; we don't have to use it.  God is big enough to encompass any concept or understanding that any person on earth can come up with.  Now we don't have to have a well defined understanding of our higher power.  In fact, I believe, all we really need is the willingness to believe that there is a power greater than ourselves (especially in the beginning).

When we are willing to believe, and then we make the decision to turn our will and our lives (or our thoughts and our actions if you will) over to this power that we understand or don't - follow this up with immediate action (4th step) miracles happen.  We stay sober.

Looking back on that process from when I was early in recovery, and having the honor of guiding people through this process and watching them do it, I am amazed at the power in step 3.

Currently my life is not all roses and puppies.  In fact this is one of the toughest times of my life.  What has come put of this 'tough time' has not been pretty - my recovery has been both strengthened and thrown into upheaval. I have had to reexamine what all this recovery stuff means now that stopping drinking is not my primary focus.

Talking with someone the other night I heard something that I knew, but had not heard out-loud (while I was listening anyway) and had never considered outside the scope of just stopping drinking/ using.  What I heard was this:

There is an incredible power at work in our lives when we first get sober!

Seems like a no brainer.  The thing for me at that moment is that I realized that power is always there for me.  More than realized - I knew inside and out that it was true.  The power of miracles that God provides is available for me in all areas of my life.  That same immense power that did for me that no human power could have (gave me the grace to get and stay sober) - is also waiting for me to ask for the grace to face my current troubles and for the strength to walk through them.


I knew what I had to do - again - I need to make the decision to turn my life and my will over to the care of God as I understand it.  Then I need to take the action (unfortunately for me that action is not as clearly defined as it was when I first got sober), knowing, I did say 'Knowing' that I will be taken care of.

It worked before - in fact it has been working continuously in my life as long as I am concentrating on 'God Reliance' instead of self reliance.

I don't know how this current life issue will be resolved - what my life will look like next month or a year from now.  What I do know is that I will be OK, my family will be taken care of, and I can and will stay sober through it.


Want to talk about recovery? Have any experience related to my posts you would like to share? Please leave a comment or send me an email. Gary T

12 step program