Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
The key here is 'Came To Believe'. Whenever I am talking to someone about this step I stress that we don't have to believe in order to work this step; we just need to be Willing To Believe. It's the willingness that starts the process.
When we come in we have all sorts of weird beliefs that don't serve us very well. Whether they are personal, political, or spiritual - the fact is that when we are new our thinkers just don't work very well. It only took a couple of days of sobriety to be strung together for me to realize that there was something bigger than me at work here. It doesn't matter if you think that is God, or your recovery group, or a pile of whatever. The fact is that when many of us find ourselves sober we realize that something is doing for us what we could never do for ourselves.
That is step two.
Slowly we are being restored to sanity. For many people that word is a little hard to digest - insane. When we really get down to it we don't want to admit that we have been insane in our thinking and our actions; but what else should we call it. The thinking, the justifications and rationalizations that we could so ingeniously come up with in order to get that first drink or drug into our system could be astounding. The only thing is, is that they never fit with reality - being outside of reality in our thinking is insanity - pure and simple.
The longer we stay around and are active in recovery the more that is revealed. Step 2, just like all the other steps has many layers to it. That means the longer we are sober the more we realize just how insane our thinking and acting was when we were active. Where it gets interesting is when we realize that our thinking and behavior can be insane when we have some time in recovery. The only hope for people like me is that I stay in recovery so those bouts of insanity are quickly realized. Without the awareness, there is no solution. And the solution for me is returning to the source of my sobriety and that is God's grace.
That's where the continuous opportunity to enlarge my spiritual life, expand my consciousness, and continue to grow lay - in the fact that it is my higher power who is always there and always pointing me to another opportunity to be restored to sanity.
The only thing I have to maintain is what I needed in the beginning to work to this step - the key ingredient - willingness. I think that this becomes harder the longer we stay around - because, hey I know something! I have been sober for X amount of years, I've worked the steps, I sponsor people - and on and on and on... What I have to remember is that whenever I become an expert I become closed off to learning new things. I become closed off to the infinite possibility for growth that my higher power offers me.
To stay in step 2 I need to stay in Beginner's Mind. The place where I am open (and willing) to learning new things. New things about me, my recovery, and most importantly how my higher power has and is still working on returning me sanity.
Want to talk about recovery? Have any experience related to my posts you would like to share? Please leave a comment or send me an email.
Gary T
No comments:
Post a Comment